Uuh… it’s hard to explain, it’s a burden that just appears out of nowhere and fucks you up for days. Ignoring it is not easy. It takes over you and even tends to distort your perception of reality turning it into a living nightmare. It’s awful and terrifying.
If I ever seem arrogant or anything like that, please know I’m joking 100% I have zero self confidence and I sometimes pretend that I think im dead cool and awesome because I’m actually terrible so it’s mildly funny